What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is when two parents who are no longer in a romantic relationship work together to raise their children.
Successful co-parenting helps children have a stable upbringing, learn life skills such as flexibility, adaptability and resilience, and feel that both of their parents are equally involved, respected and present in their lives.
However, in some situations, co-parenting can be difficult. Whilst most separating parents will agree that the needs of their child must come first, in the throes of a breakup, these good intentions can quickly be forgotten.
On occasions, anger and resentment can come into play and unresolved issues over the frequency or duration of time spent with their children or how the family’s assets should be shared can often cause huge arguments. This can have a negative impact on children, no matter how hard a parent tries to shield any issues or upset from them.
There is a lot of support and advice available to couples looking to co-parent following a separation, to help ensure their future relationship remains amicable.
Here are some top tips to co-parent successfully and to ensure that all good intentions remain intact.
6 tips for successful co-parenting
1. Create a parenting plan
A parenting plan can set out the living/spending time with arrangements for the children, including arrangements during term time, school holidays and any special occasions such as birthdays and religious events.
Parenting plans are easy to access, and parents can create their own, or if some additional support it needed to help with communication, then family law solicitors or mediators can help.
2.Keep communication open and respectful
Good communication is an absolute must for successful co-parenting. Talk about your children’s needs and concerns and be prepared to compromise and make decisions together.
Don’t speak negatively or disrespectfully of the other parent to or in front of your children. Remember that your children love both of you and it would be hugely upsetting and painful for them to hear one parent speak badly about their other parent.
If you feel able to do so, attend events such as parents evening, school performances and health appointments together which sends a positive message to your children that you can join forces to show your support for them.
3. Put your children’s needs first
When making decisions that involve or directly impact your children consider what they want, taking into consideration their age and understanding. If this is problematic, then child inclusive mediation could be an option as this gives children a forum to share any worries or concerns and contribute to the families plans. This can be empowering for them in a situation where, more often than not, they feel they have little or no say.
4. Be consistent
Children thrive on routine so it’s important to put in place rules and expectations in both households, so everyone understands what is expected of them
5. Be flexible
Sometimes unexpected circumstances can arise, and you need to be willing to adapt and make changes which can help reduce conflict and maintain a successful co-parenting relationship, whilst ensuring that the children’s needs are being put first
6. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional support or guidance
You need to be the best version of yourself so you can make the right decisions for your family. If it all seems too much., be sure to connect with counsellors, family law solicitors and mediators who can offer support and guidance to navigate certain situations positively.
Never underestimate the challenge of co-parenting successfully. From my own experience as a separated parent, learning how to communicate effectively and without conflict is the key to a successful separation for the whole family.
It is always very rewarding when I see my clients doing a great job of raising their children as a team despite no longer being together.
If you wish to discuss anything mentioned in the article or need further advice on divorce or co-parenting please get in touch.
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is when two parents who are no longer in a romantic relationship work together to raise their children.
Successful co-parenting helps children have a stable upbringing, learn life skills such as flexibility, adaptability and resilience, and feel that both of their parents are equally involved, respected and present in their lives.
However, in some situations, co-parenting can be difficult. Whilst most separating parents will agree that the needs of their child must come first, in the throes of a breakup, these good intentions can quickly be forgotten.
On occasions, anger and resentment can come into play and unresolved issues over the frequency or duration of time spent with their children or how the family’s assets should be shared can often cause huge arguments. This can have a negative impact on children, no matter how hard a parent tries to shield any issues or upset from them.
There is a lot of support and advice available to couples looking to co-parent following a separation, to help ensure their future relationship remains amicable.
Here are some top tips to co-parent successfully and to ensure that all good intentions remain intact.
6 tips for successful co-parenting
1. Create a parenting plan
A parenting plan can set out the living/spending time with arrangements for the children, including arrangements during term time, school holidays and any special occasions such as birthdays and religious events.
Parenting plans are easy to access, and parents can create their own, or if some additional support it needed to help with communication, then family law solicitors or mediators can help.
2.Keep communication open and respectful
Good communication is an absolute must for successful co-parenting. Talk about your children’s needs and concerns and be prepared to compromise and make decisions together.
Don’t speak negatively or disrespectfully of the other parent to or in front of your children. Remember that your children love both of you and it would be hugely upsetting and painful for them to hear one parent speak badly about their other parent.
If you feel able to do so, attend events such as parents evening, school performances and health appointments together which sends a positive message to your children that you can join forces to show your support for them.
3. Put your children’s needs first
When making decisions that involve or directly impact your children consider what they want, taking into consideration their age and understanding. If this is problematic, then child inclusive mediation could be an option as this gives children a forum to share any worries or concerns and contribute to the families plans. This can be empowering for them in a situation where, more often than not, they feel they have little or no say.
4. Be consistent
Children thrive on routine so it’s important to put in place rules and expectations in both households, so everyone understands what is expected of them
5. Be flexible
Sometimes unexpected circumstances can arise, and you need to be willing to adapt and make changes which can help reduce conflict and maintain a successful co-parenting relationship, whilst ensuring that the children’s needs are being put first
6. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional support or guidance
You need to be the best version of yourself so you can make the right decisions for your family. If it all seems too much., be sure to connect with counsellors, family law solicitors and mediators who can offer support and guidance to navigate certain situations positively.
Never underestimate the challenge of co-parenting successfully. From my own experience as a separated parent, learning how to communicate effectively and without conflict is the key to a successful separation for the whole family.
It is always very rewarding when I see my clients doing a great job of raising their children as a team despite no longer being together.
If you wish to discuss anything mentioned in the article or need further advice on divorce or co-parenting please get in touch.